It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas...

...but does it FEEL like Christmas? What does that even mean??  And, can you believe Christmas will be here in about two weeks?

This year, Matt and I have been very intentional about how we spend our weekends to try and create both fun experiences for the kids, but also help them to focus on LOVE and GIVING. We have done some pretty special things with the family. Last weekend, the Kumpar side got together for our 1st Annual Cookie Baking and Christmas Tree decorating time at my FIL's house. While is was sobering my MIL wasn't with us, it was a special time of mixing and baking and kids stealing Chocolate chip cookies. I will have to say--the Kumpars are great cooks and exceptional bakers. The Staytons (my side) are amazing in the kitchen as well. It is a win-win all around! But, I digress...

Today, we took the kids to Clarksburg, MD for the Compassion Experience. Basically, we listened to iPods with stories of REAL children helped out of poverty through Compassion. As we listened, we walked through authentic replicas of the storyteller's environment: home, school, hospital. It was sobering. Ellie, age 6 (ahem, 6 1/4 as she likes to remind us), was definitely impacted. Gracie (3) and Benjamin (17 months) were just along for the free cookies the church offered. For me, it wasn't just seeing how others lived, but is was realizing the impact our monthly contribution makes. It isn't JUST giving them food and education, it is giving them HOPE and a way out of despair. It is life-changing. Many of the Compassion kids end up sponsoring their own Compassion kids as adults. It is an amazing life-changing ripple that continues to spread.

Also today, we experienced OUR FIRST SNOW of the season! I get excited about first snows because something magical occurs!! The brown and desolate landscape is transformed into white, peaceful amazement. The kids' zeal is extremely contagious and I found myself excited to dig into our big box of hats, gloves, and scarves, and start the 42 minute process of dressing everyone for the snow as soon as we got home from Clarksburg late this afternoon. Benjamin was too little last year to remember snow, so it was especially exciting to see him marvel at the white stuff. I sure do miss living in a real neighborhood when it snows. Ellie begged to invite one of her besties Presley over, but the roads seemed to be refreezing, so I didn't make the call (or actually, text...do we really call much anymore???). I remember walking the 1/4 mile to my childhood friend Kerri's home when it snowed or she would walk down. We usually met in the middle and walked the rest of the way together. I miss those days!

Sigh.

Well, leaving 1986 and returning to 2017....besides cookie making with my SIL's, learning about Compassion children, and playing in the snow, here is what else we have been up to: I kicked off the advent season at my church by attending a women's event called Just Joy. It was amazing! I enjoyed focusing on the simplicity Christmas can be with other women. I laughed. I cried. I ate yummy food! I so appreciate the hearts of people who want to do something nice for others. Our church ladies outdid themselves making a nice evening for so many women!

We also started our Jesse Tree once again to prepare for advent. I made it our centerpiece this year, so we see it (AND so Benjamin will be less likely to grab it off the side table). We try to add the ornament and do the corresponding reading right after dinner each evening. We missed two days in a row and had to add the ram, Jesse's ladder, and the golden coins all in one day! Life happens. It is the over-riding goal that matters!! Our Kindness Elves, Holly and Jake, also returned. They come back every December and leave notes and little gifts to encourage the kids to be kind. They were even able to get the kids to willingly donate books and toys to the less fortunate!

A few days ago, Ellie's school held a winter concert. Each class (K-8) sang one song and larger groups (lower school and upper school), and then the entire school all sang. I had difficulty seeing from my vantage point, but it was still special to hear so many little voices singing together. Ellie's favorite song was "Feliz Navidad," which has been stuck in our heads for a few weeks now!

On that note (ha-see what I did there?), I will say Goodnight....another Hallmark movie is calling my name and I need to finish a project I have started for my FIL. I won't tell you what it is on the off chance he reads my blog...unlikely, but still a possibility! Christmas secrets need to stay that way until Christmas!!

Lots of love and Christmas magic,
Julie

ps. Hold the bus!!!! I forgot to share some awesome news!!! We finally replaced our 30+ year old leaky roof! Hats off to Evans Quality Roofing!!! They were a well-oiled machine and did an amazing job yesterday taking off the old roof, putting on a new one, and cleaning up every bit of mess. We have had a leak for over a year! 75% of every time it rained, the water would drip right into Matt's side of our bed. It was so frustrating. We finally took the plunge and had the necessary repairs done yesterday....just in time for today's snow storm!! What a blessing! Thank you Jason Evans and Evans Quality Roofing!!! (insert praise hands here!!!)

 Compassion Experience

Here, Ellie is learning about how a young boy, Carlos, dyes yarn for a job in Guatemala. What an eye-opening event! We also learned about Kiwi from the Philippines and Olive from Uganda (side bar: I have met Olive before at a women's retreat through my church! These stories of change are REAL). 

 The girls are 3+ years apart, but you can't tell here!

 Benjamin didn't want to come inside!

 All of my babies! I love them so!

 My beautiful Elliana Joy!

 Benjamin is obsessed with this little house. I am convinced he would be happy living there!

 We were dressed up for professional pictures at the end of November, so we decided to head to our local mall and do Santa pictures. Brilliant Santa suggested the rocking horse for my little active boy! He loved it! The kids aren't all looking at the camera, but I actually love how B's little mischievous grin was captured here!

My step dad, Dick, joined Matt, the kids, and me for Ellie's winter concert. Here they are after the concert in Ellie's school! Feliz Navidad!

Warm Hugs from Grandma

It has been less than three months since my MIL passed away after a short illness, but it feels like longer. I always used to get this gut feeling when I hadn't talked with or seen my MIL for more than a week or two. Then, I knew I would have to check in and see how she was doing or give her a non-Facebook update about the kids. I have had that gut feeling so many times now since she passed away at the end of August: I need to check in! I want to check in! I want to chat with her about our leaky roof and how Matt finally has agreed to ditch the bucket that collects the rain water most rainstorms and shell out the money for the new roof. I know she would celebrate with me! She was typically on my side when it came to things like that, where her sweet firstborn might drag his handsome feet a bit, and his dear wife (a.k.a. moi) would lovingly suggest in a non-nagging way a possible solution. I miss her support in that way. 

The holidays are looming and I haven't checked in with her. I feel her absence. She would have already asked me about gifts for her youngest grandchildren, my babies. She would have already lamented about how much work the meal prep and cookie making and house decorating and cleaning and... was and I would have told her again that it IS worth it. Even though I have only attended eight "Kumpar Christmases," seven as a married couple, I feel like I have been doing Kumpar Christmases most of my life. I just can't imagine a Kumpar Christmas without Colleen. 

The girls in the family (my SILs, niece, and my daughters) are going to gather soon to do what my MIL typically did alone every year: bake the traditional Christmas cookies. I am excited about this new tradition we are going to start. I think my FIL is happy, too, that Christmas will have Kumpar nuthorns again this year. ;-)

My FIL has been in the process of passing on Colleen's things. He sent two of her amazing coats with Matt the other day for me to try. The girls had a blast trying them on as well. The coats brought tears to my eyes, as I could "see" Colleen wearing them, especially the black one (the older of the two) and sitting out on the porch in the cold, smoking her cigarette. Ellie and I could even still smell her perfume lingering. The smell brought me right back to her house in Littlestown, in her kitchen, sitting at her table with the floral placemats, chatting, with her crazy dog Gabby barking around us. In the end, I decided to keep the blue coat for myself and pass on the smaller black one to my SIL. 

I wore the coat tonight to church and it felt like a warm hug from my MIL. It made me smile as I walked to and from my van this evening, feeling the warmth of the down. Memories come and go, along with the intensity of the emotions which they evoke. Some memories bring me to tears, especially ones the girls share. But the memories which this new blue coat evoke, brought me peace and happiness tonight. 

Matt and I took the kids and food up to PA to see my FIL yesterday. He was thrilled I kept a coat and another DIL was getting one as well. I love seeing him smile. I held back tears in my eyes as I saw my kids sitting at Grandma's table, enjoying themselves. Colleen would have been right there with them, singing her little Polish songs, and marveling at something Gracie said or Benjamin was attempting to do, or helping Ellie find the shoes to my niece Ashley's American Girl doll, which still sits upstairs in the guest room. These little bits of ordinary would have meant the world to her. 

I have thought about that often recently-how ordinary moments add up to the extraordinary. Morning snuggles or nightly story times and prayers every day over time lead to security. Daily lunch notes lead to self-confidence. The day in and day out of life, coupled with faithful moments of the mundane lead to a life-time to celebrate. 

And so, yes, Colleen! Your never ending labor at the holidays DID matter. It produced magical Christmases for your entire family, especially your eight grandchildren. Your days and nights making cookie recipe after cookie recipe DID make a difference. You created tradition and have now left a legacy for those you left behind.

I might not see you there, sitting on the couch this Christmas delighting in your loved ones, but I am grateful for a small token of remembrance of you, in the form of a warm hug of your coat, which I will wear with love and pride. <3 p=""> 

Take a "Caesura" today and love your people,
Julie